What Happened to Hazel?
by Michael Domson
Summary: After Gus' death months ago, Hazel is back to her ordinary life. The only difference - her cancer has sadly relapsed. Hazel has to find a way to cope with her cancer.
1. Chapter 1: About Augustus Waters

Every night, when I'm alone, I go outside and lie on the grass on my back. I smelled the fresh air as lingered in the sky like yesterday, or like any other day. But it's not the same anymore.

I once met a guy named Augustus Waters. He was a nice guy, and he had cancer too, like me. We both liked the same book, we had the same thoughts on life, it was a full circle for me. We once went to Amsterdam and met a guy named Peter van Houten. God damn guy is a dick. He won't even tell us about the end of _A Mysterious Affair_. Augustus seems pretty pissed with him too. Then he showed me the Anne Frank house and kissed on the spot, right there. Then he went to her bedroom and he took my hand, and he started to undress me, and I put my arms around him, and he puts my arms around me. Augustus hugs like a boa constrictor, his arms were as tight as tape, and the fresh lips of him smelled like cherries.

Then the worst happened. When we got back, Augustus' cancer had relapsed and it worsened as the days go on. He was at a gas station planning to buy cigarettes, then he started to choke. He spent his remaining days on a wheelchair.

Then that one night, that one fateful night, I received the news that Augustus has died. I was crying the Niagara Falls out of my eyes and screaming like a bitch. I felt so mad, and so depressed, I didn't talk to anybody for the rest of the day. Until that night, when a friend of his had sent to me his eulogy, and I remember those last words. The very last words that he said to me back at the chapel.

 _Always remember the fault in our stars. Okay?_


	2. Chapter 2: New Neighbors and New Friends

It was a cold September morning. Everything is quiet. I looked out in the window, towards the stars, hoping that my Augustus would still be up there. For the first time in my life, it seemed quiet without Augustus. Tears were filling up in my eyes and my nose seemed so stuffy inside me. I cringed into a circle and wrapped my legs around me. Just then, I heard a voice.

"Hazel, wake up! It's time for support group day!" said my mom.

I thought to myself, God damn it, not another day of support group. I didn't even feel like going to support group. You see, ever since Augustus Waters died, I had never spoke of him once. Every day, I cringe in my bed, and I looked at the sky, whether it's pouring rain or it's burning hot. My parents knew why. They knew a damn reason why I run into my room and I cry like a baby all the time. They knew a damn reason why I read the same damn eulogy over and over again. Even though I was so active and outgoing, running freely into the woods and riding a bike around the neighborhood, some of those days, I kept thinking about Augustus, blue eyes and golden hair and all. And every night, I would dream of me and Augustus up in a bright place called heaven. I remember one time, he took me up as close as the Sun, with all it's rays pointing out from all the sides. Such a glorious sight, the sun. But I realized that I was just fantasizing and hallucinating all that stuff.

All I want to do right now is to see Augustus Waters again. I don't know how I would do it. But that's all I ever thought of... just for now.

I hurdled towards my closet and grabbed a gray shirt with black arm cuffs and my favorite pair of red pants. Then I ran downstairs and saw my mom grab my breakfast from the toaster. She placed it around a small piece of tinfoil and packed it inside a small plastic bag. "Hurry up, Hazel, you don't want to be late," said my mom as she grabbed a thermos full of coffee. I packed the plastic bag into a little paper bag and grabbed my black leather jacket and a red beanie with a rainbow colored pom-Pom balls as I head out the door. Mom followed with her car keys and a thermos in her hand. I got in the car and crossed my legs and stared out the window. I looked up into the sky and bit my lip.

"All right, let's head out. I'm already late for work," said Mom. As we pulled out from the driveway, I pressed my head against the window glass and stared up in the sky.

* * *

It was pouring rain from here on out when I got out of the car. I grabbed my red umbrella and cast it over me as the rain poured on me and ran up the slippery concrete steps towards the medical office. Dr. Platten greeted me at the door.

"Miss Lancaster, so glad you could make it," he said. "Head on in to the fifth room on your left. We're just getting started."

I walked into the large assembly room and saw about sevenpeople in a circle, five of which are new. Three of them were girls, two were boys. All of them are wearing bright colors though, not sure why. I saw an empty brown leather seat like the other ones and sat down. There was one guy that I sat next to that I realized who it was.

"Hazel? You're still here?" he asked.

"Isaac! Uh, yeah, I'm still in support group, so, uh... Yeah," I said. "So what is it this time?"

"Marissa broke up with me. Had a hard time moving on. Started doing drugs and alcohol, then my parents noticed. They'd put me back in support group."

"Me too. My mom noticed that I had a hard time moving on too."

"Gus broke your heart?"

I nodded.

"Life's just too short, man. Hate it when humans die. I guess your back to watching _**The Voice**_ and _**Dance Moms**_ , I guess?"

"Yeah."

"And reading the same thing all over again?"

"Yes, that eulogy that Augustus gave me when he died."

"Jeez, man, I feel sorry for you."

"Thanks." Just then, I heard two voices, one boy and one girl, roughly around 18 years old, who seemed to be arguing.

"...and we seem to be the only ones without cancer. Why should we be here?"

"Julian, it's for our own good! Besides, we both survived from leukemia once."

I looked up to see a boy and a girl walking through the door and sat down in two empty seats. I turned to Isaac, curious and said, "Who are they?"

"Oh, these guys? They're newcomers to Indianapolis. Guy in the black hoodie there, his name's Julian. We're next door neighbors to each other."

"He sounded much more like a dick."

"Yeah, well, Julian can be a friendly type, but sometimes he could become like a hater. He also told me that - get this - support groups are only for people with a severe sickness."

"That's not true. People that are bullied or cyberbullied also came here too."

"I see. Who's that with her?" I cocked my head towards the girl with the white leather jacket on.

"Oh, her? Her name's Kiana, Julian's girlfriend. Heard they first met back at their old school during a volleyball match up. They were both paired up in a team."

"Lucky guy," I said in a whisper. I looked at them, chatting next to each other and laughing.

Just then, Dr. Platten walked in the room with a guitar in his hand and a clipboard in the other. Clipped on it was a book with silver words titled _**Divergent**_. Didn't like the book, really. Sounded more like a mix of _**Harry Potter**_ and _**The Hunger Games**_ with a touch of _**The Giver**_ in it.

"Morning, guys!"

"Good morning, Dr. Platten," the circle of people said.

"All right, guys, we got seven new people here, anybody want to introduce themselves first?"

"Hi, I'm Thomas, and I have community-acquired pneumonia."

"I'm Danielle, and I have nighttime nocturnal asthma."

"My name is Candace, and I have group B Strep Infection."

"Hi, my name is Derek, and I have a generalized anxiety disorder and occupational asthma."

"My name's Debra, and I have endometrial cancer and castleman disease."

"Hi, my name's Julian, and I am a survivor of acute lymphocytic leukemia."

"My name's Kiana, and I am a survivor of chronic myeloid leukemia."

"Welcome, guys. We're all here for you," greeted Dr. Platten. "I have three former guys who have been in support group for a long time here. Why don't you go ahead and introduce to them who your name is, what type of sickness you have, and their stories."

"Hi, I'm Nicholas, and I have chronic lymphocytic leukemia. I was formerly a drummer for the marching band of Kansas State University. There was like one time, my fingers felt so cold and my face was like as hot as hell. My mom rushed me to the emergency center and I was diagnosed with leukemia the day after. And that's why I ended up here. Basically the running and walking down in Topeka is like shit down there."

"We're here for you, Nicholas."

"Hi, I'm Isaac, and I have retinoblastoma, or eye cancer for short, and for once, I admit that I'm a freaking spoiled brat. I dated so many girls, got rejected too many times, got hell-bent on suicide, drugs, alcohol, cigarettes, the whole nine yards. My most recent girl, Marissa, broke up with me because of what she saw of my weird fetishes. And for once, I just wanted to be normal."

I was sitting there thinking, _He's just faking it, fucking pervert._

"Hazel?"

I stood up, looked around the many people in the room, and took a deep breath.

"My name is Hazel Grace Lancaster, and I have Stage IV Thyroid Cancer, and I'm a loner for life. Basically because number one, I was shut off from the world because of my cancer, and number two, nobody likes a girl with cancer. 'Til I met Augustus Waters. He was like, the most kindest and honest-to-God person in the whole freaking world. He had this one metaphor where - " I pulled out a box of electronic cigarettes " - he had these box of cigarettes that he puts in his mouth and he never lights it."

"How is that a metaphor?" asked Julian.

"You see - " I handed Julian the e-cig " - you put the thing in your mouth that does the killing to your lungs, but you never light it."

"But doesn't that encourage people to smoke?"

"Julian!" exclaimed Kiana. "Sorry, it's just that, he's just being a literal dick and all - "

"No, it's okay, it's okay. Anyways, he told me his biggest fear is oblivion. About that time where we all die. He hates it. All his life - " my voice started to break at this point and tears are filling my eyes " - he wanted to be remembered. But he knew the most important thing in life was not being remembered by everyone, but by having friends that will remember him. Yes, he's a cocky son-of-a-bitch for sure, but at least he's friendly. And loving." A single tear ran on my cheek. I wiped my nose.

"Would anybody else like to add to these life stories that these guys have?"

A hand went up. It was Kiana's.

"Kiana?"

Kiana stood up. "Hazel, right?"

I nodded.

"You know, I had a friend that I lost to cancer too. She had a major amount of Wilms tumor. I was 13 when this happened."

"What was her name?"

"Julie. She was like my Augustus. We would hang out in the library and talk about rumors and gossip and all that stuff. Then we got ice cream down the street at a local Target. She had one of those weird metaphors that she has like your Gus. She was a huge fan of action video games, her favorite ones being the Doom games. Just like your Gus."

Hazel smiled.

"Everything was fine. Then things changed. Julie suffered a loss of appetite, some constipation, and frequent amounts of feverish conditions. Then, it happened. Her stomach swelled and she choked blood out. She was dead on arrival."

Hazel was shocked. "I'm sorry to hear that about your friend."

"Well, unlike that Gus guy of yours, nobody liked her. People called her a diva and a bitch. Many say it's because of his big nose. Others think it's because what she wears. Either way, no person ever hung out with Julie. Until me and Julie were paired up for the science fair. That's when we met."

Silence fell. Then Hazel spoke up. "I'm here for you, Kiana."

Kiana smiled. "And I'm here for you, Hazel."

Dr. Platten smiled and said, "We're all here for you, Hazel."

* * *

After support group, I walked outside of the church to see Julian and Kiana chatting near a tree.

"Come on, Kiana, rain ain't like real tears from real people that seemed like everyone's crying."

"I was just saying."

"And that metaphor just encourages people to keep smoking and polluting our country."

"Julian, it's not like that. Now if you were to light it, people would smell it and they would say, 'Yo, dude, where can I get a pack full of that shit, man?'" They both chuckled and smiled.

I walked towards Julian and Kiana and greeted them. "Hey guys, am I interrupting anything?"

"No, not at all. Here, sit."

"Thanks," I said, and sat there on the soiled and wet dirt with Kiana and Julian. "You know, Isaac thought you were such a dick, but actually you're a bit helpful."

"Everyone says I'm a dick, why else?"

I chuckled. Julian turned around and put the cigarette in his mouth. "Anyways, you can come over to my house tomorrow. I can hook you up with a guy. Know many guys from my hometown."

"Yeah, but most of those guys are either dicks in real life or just plain freaking weird," put in Kiana.

"Excuse me?" interrogated Julian. "Jeez, you're such a fuck-ass."

"Don't listen to him, he could be really weird sometimes," said Kiana. I smilied. "How do you know about Augustus' interests and all that stuff about him?"

"Because friends always has this little habit of doing weird stuff that actually is considered to be entertaining."

Hazel smiled. "You're a nice person."

"And you're a cool kid."

"So, tomorrow, we'll chat?"

"Yeah."


End file.
